Dr. Susan G. Weinberger
Have you thought about what you could change in your life to become a happier person? What would make the biggest difference? Is it more money, a better job, good health or more intimacy?
Many years ago, I met Paula Francis, Executive Director of The Vermont Community Foundation. The Foundation had hired me to evaluate mentoring programs in Vermont. Francis left her job in 2012 and for the next 7 years, she crisscrossed this country with walking shoes and a recorder and reported on happiness by interviewing thousands of people during her 10,000-mile Happiness Walk. The work became known as Gross National Happiness USA. She set out to learn what really matters in life given that success is often measured by how happy people are. Paula said, “we ought to uphold our basic right – and that of future generations – to the pursuit of happiness.” At the time, I wondered why she would want to do this. That was a lot of miles on foot to meet people of all walks of life and document the data. One of her central findings was that the relationships we have with one another are a basis for happiness.
Dr. Robert Waslinger is co-author of The Good Life: Lessons from the world’s longest scientific study of happiness. He directed a Harvard Study on Adult Development. It began by looking at what makes people thrive over generations. Waslinger was asked, if people could change one thing in their lives to be happier, what would they choose? His answer seems so simple and easy. “They should invest in their relationships with other people. The strongest predictors of who not just stayed happy but who was healthy as they went through life – were the warmth and the quality of their relationships with other people.”
I believe that happiness is tied to mentoring. Over many years of research, I have reported that mentoring has two directional benefits. It often benefits the mentor as much if not more than the mentee. Survey responses from the first cohort of the CWEA Mentoring Program appear to bear witness to this. Many mentors and mentees reported on how good the relationship made them feel. Some stated that they now have a new friend, someone who is a good listener whom they can talk to confidentially. Waslinger says that is how relationships relieve stress and keep us healthy.
One of my favorite quotes is from American writer, J.M. Lawrence, “ It’s not what we have in life but who we have in our life that counts.” A good reason to become involved in mentoring.
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