TURKEY TURKEY COMMITTEE

Last Updated 5/6/2009

Your Reigning Turkey:

BRADSHAW 'Smolderin Butts' PRUITT
From Ojai Valley Sanitary District

Bradshaw's Email

(805) 646-5548

INDEX

COMMITTEE CHAIR REPORT
T URKEY OF THE YEAR PHOTOS
TURKEYS FROM #1 TO #31 CWEA TRI-COUNTIES SECTION
ANSWER TO PRESIDENT OBAMA'S CALENDAR QUESTION ( Presidents Day 2010).

COMMITTEE CHAIR'S REPORT

Gobble gobble! The only Turkey to ever get the Turkey to gobble back on the first try!
The theme for next year's (2009) Turkey of the Year event has not been decided--- in fact, the Turkeys are just planning their first meeting. Rest assured that as soon as they have a theme picked out, you'll be the next to know!

Get your TURKEY NOMINATION FORMS here! These are old, but they will do until the new ones are published in August.

Turkey nomination form 2008.pdf

TURKEY 2008 PHOTOS

Wayll, its Long John Jeffereeee "Flapa Wavin'" Salt out doin thuh lawndry! Gots the best sheeps in the Countee tew- by golly!	Its Prezydent Robbie Pickled Hamhock Hidalgo playin mewzicul chairs with hisself- Aint that keeyute! Ol' Daisy Bell wants ta play tew!	Heeyars ol Slick Lickety Split Ricky witha mighty fine honey, Jelopy Kar Krankin' Kristyn--- hey, Rick, I see ya got thum teeth fixed by the denteest, ol' Doc Plierpullplucker!
Its thum redneck boys--- theys whoopin it up now, but jes wait til tamorra- theys gonna feel like a mule done kicked theys teeth out and sat on theys heads!	Hooten-Annie Sharp Shootin Schoobie Reyes struts thuh finest fashuns in these heeyar parts: inclewds red drawer underwares and checkery frock. That thar is a mighty yewsful belt tew!	Destytute Ron "Toe Hole n Sheeyew" Sheets, n wife Parmilda Scammin' Pam, look mighty festive-like. That's a reeeel purdy hat tew, Parmilda!
'Slick Lickety Split' Rick and 'Outta Heeyar n Gone' Juan gits partied up... theys got them thare mullet hairdews- sos ya knows theys got reeeel class!	Lookit heyar, its Saydie Alaynnie- sheees heeyar ta vizit all the way from yonder Ojai jesta git likered up and git in a bar room brawl.	Wayll! Ifin it aint Overall Brawl Brett "Git Offer Me, Man" n his new bride, Sweet Suzy Q Queen o' thuh Barbeekew!. Theys sech a keeyute cupul... looks like Doc Plierpullplucker been ta see yew tew, Brett!
Heyars sum fine lookin guests- whoa- see thares that pesky ol' Jabberjaw Bradshaw "Smolderin Butts" Pruitt unsuspectin-like in the back thar. Hee hee, heesa gonna git it, tew!	Its thuh Great Thunderin Horney Toad Timmy Tim Page givin a lekjur about safe-teeeee. Hayll, we learnt a lot frum Horney Toad Tim, so weez hopin he cums back agin nex y'ar!	Wayll, I'll be hanged, ifin it aint Rollin Pin Linda "Lump Leavin" Leary! The denteest Doc's been ta seeya, tew? Guess it wuz wun of his bedder days cuz he got the tooth out!
Goll dern! Ifin it aint Walleye Doc Plierpullplucker hisself! Hey Doc, ya gotsta cum upta my place ta werk on ma honeee- no he aint knowin yer cumin, so ya jes might catch'um befur he bolts outta thuh back door!	Lookit them mighty fine prizes! That thar Bingo Game is finer than thuh wun at the Church meetin hall!	Lookit them red glowin eyeballs! Aint seen nothin like that since Grampa had sum o Granny's moonshine concocshun n hee blasted off ta thuh moon
Wayll, its Bradshaw "Smolderin Butts" Pruitt n his wife Carry all cuddly like.	This fellers got n extree hand fer more beer- purdy dern handy, eh? Yup, he wuz borned frum his paw who dun married his sistar, and theys folks was firs' cuzins tew, so whutcha expekt?	Hon'ry Turkee frum thuh Wes' Verginya's Prezident Kennedy clan Pat Kennedy. Lookit hees wife, Claudia, looks like Jackie hersself!
Wayll, ifin it aint Amer Sue Skoobie Sharp Shootin Schoobie. Lookin like its purt n'ar Sadie Hawkins Day, tew! Look out all yew bachlur fellas, shes can packa reeeel shotgun surprize!	This heyar mus' bee thuh town bankers. Theys lookin mighty seerius n gots sum mighty fancy duds on, tew boot! Yup, thar's Monee Monger Mike 'Take the Cash' Ash and his posse o' penny pinchers!	Lookit yonder- its 'Feudin Truce' Bruce 'Broke Zipper' Zimmerman
Charmin' Toe Armando 'Googley Eye' Garza an hees wife pert near tip thare chayers gawkin n gafawin' at thuh Turkee shindigs	A tableload ah falootin' galoots- theys got backup tew from the Rowdy Redneck Boys.	Whuz up?
Thares ol' Unkul Vic the Vorashus Viddle Acoster Acosta. He pluckt hisself a mighty fine wife- all sofistikayted n all.	Hees got Chewin Tabacky er Chewin Gum- cant tell less he gots a spitoon- oh yayes- hees got a spitoon plate- lookit that thare wad!	Snot Sleeve Steve Strassburg's dotter and pa pays a visit represetin thar' kin- Steve got a write-up in the Bank'weet Program cuz he wuz a true profeshunal. RIP.
Why ifin it aint our Chickun frum the las' ten y'ars er so- 'GoSay Golldangit' Jose 'Hottern a Hornet Cuss Swearin' Sanchez and purdy dotter Ritzie Roxanna, n a beeeyudy-ful wife 'Neck 'Ringin' Rouwstie' Ruth.	Lordeee! Its thuh lokel carpetbagger, Mark "the Shark" Goosey Grinning Greenfield! Whats n thuh bag, Goose?	Wayll, at leees they dun got rid of that pesky carpetbagger!
"Lookout! My beer's cumin on threw n I gots ta skidaddle! Hope thuh privy's got nobodee in it!"	Heyars ar' Deeeeejay- goes by the name of Scat Crazy Cat Matt. He gots lots of hi- fandangledy stuf that makes purdy mewsik! We was all fit tew bee tied to see mewsik with no fiddle or spoon playin!	Hay! Sumwuns sneakin yer beer outta yer hat hidin' place.
Thars Mark 'the Shark' n hees luvlee laydee Batta Gnat Nat-a-lee Greenfield Luvleee hat thar- goes reeel gud with the red bowtie.	Mark 'the Shark Grinning' Greenfield gits up n starts peddlin hees wares agin.	Lordee, hep us! Its Mister n the Missus Santee a playin thuh harmonicas. Holee hot tamoleees-Beeeyudi-ful!
Lookit that thar harmonee-ka rift-playin! Bring on the fiddles n scrub board band!	Its ar' ol' fav'rit, Ernee 'Bent n Got a Hernee' Stocker- yeah, he goed by thuh name of Ernee 'thuh Cable Guy' tew.	Lordee, whut a flock a turkees! Frum the lef' side we gots: Great Grandpa Ronnie 'Sheared Noggin' Sherer, Destytewt Ron 'Toe Hole in Sheeyew' Sheets, 'Slop Bucket Leftover' Louie Chiourn, Banjo Bangin' Barbie 'Sweet Pickle Pie' Santos, n Unkul Vic 'the Vorashus Viddle Acoster' Acosta
Heyars sum galoots- Pearblossum Possum Pat Kennedy n Mr. 'What Do a B'ar Do n thuh Woods' Reyes... ol' Pearblossum Possum gits to bee thuh new hon'ry turkee this y'ar!	Holee sheeshkabobs! Its a bunch o' turkees saingin in like a Turkee Gospul Choir! I dun thot I seen ev' rythang til now.	Heyars 'Outta Heyar n Gone' Juan Rambukshus Ramirez cudllin hees bes frends pig. He gits to pig sit fer hees buddy Slick Lickety Split Rick whiles hees n thuh honey buckit privy.
Lookit this loada turkee gobblers. Theys got matchin shirts n hats tew.	Heyars Great Grandpa Ron 'Sheared Noggin' introducin the new turkee.	Holee Crapolee! Suprize, suprize, suprize!!! Its no other than Bradshaw 'Smolderin' Butts' Pruitt whosa gonna git it!
Lookit hees blushin cheeks! But, hee jus' cant wait to git hees hands on them speshul turkee prizes!	Lookit thar! He fits like a gluv in the middul of thuh pack!	Theys gots tew git him hees new fancy turkee duds- sos Ernee 'Bent n Got a Hernee' gits em outta thuh back shed.
Bradshaw "Smolderin Butts' is all dressed up like a turkee an reddy tew strut hees stuff.	Firs hee gits to gobbul up a storm tew let thum thar other turkees kno hees wun of thar flock.	Whut a hoot! Heesa struttin hees stuf now! Wangs a flappin n tail a waggin!
Theys gittin him in praktus.	Firs' time ev'r a turkee wannabee gits the turkee tew gobble back on thuh firs' try!	Thuh turkee sez a few words tew thank thuh voters fer hees title n awards. "Theys beeayutes!" hee sez.
Now, Bradshaw "Smolderin Butts" gits hees new Teee-shirt, number 32.	Hee gits a trophy tew fer skrewin up thuh worst of anybudy alse n thuh Tri-Counteees	Heyars DooDad Dave frum thuh Badgely clan n his a-doreebul wife Fine- like-Wine Carol-ine.
Thuh rowdy shindigs git goin' wit' all thum gud ol' boys whooppin it up! Slick Lickety Split Rick sitz on Long John Jeffeery an shows hees museeels.Long John looks mighty smashed!	Theys starts out wit' a tussel n wrastlin' match!	Sheeyoot- I dont ev'n wantsta kno bout these goins on!
Long John Jeffeery does a jubeelant jig cuz he been wuned thuh wrastle.	Heyars thuh top o thuh Sanchez clan agin. Theys reeel nice folk- theysll lend yew thar pig n wheelbarro any day!	Its Amer Sue n Foxee Roxannee gittin on thuh dance floor fer a swang aroun' thuh barn!
Its wild pardyin tew-nite folks!	Aint luv gran'? Jes yew wayt til Suzie Q takes lessuns frum Rollin Pin Linda, Overall Brawl Brett!	By cracky- wee dun almos' got a plummers crack heeyar!
Wayell its thuh Ladees Gossip Club with its mos' prom-in-it members!	Its ar' turkeee 31 bustin a gut ta hees cuzin Dungheap Diggin Dave	Its thuh skoolhayouse lunch laydee, Potater Shavin Sharry "Wildbarry Biskut" Watt!
Slick Lickety Split Rick gits overcum wit' deeezire by hees sweet thang of a pig.	Hee takes 'er ( thas jes a guess, culd bee a 'him' ya kno) dancin on thuh dancin floor tew.	Las' call fer dancin' n tyme ta git sum shuteye. Gots lots o'chores ta dew in thuh mornin!

TURKEYS FROM #1 TO #30

TURKEYS, TURKEYS AND MORE TURKEYS! THE TRI-COUNTIES SECTION HAS A WHOLE FLOCK!

NO DATA!!!!

1988 - Turkey #12: Jeff "Pork" Salt - was accused of being a "closet eater"... unfortunately, it was a walk-in closet; always enjoys a good meal (or a bad one for that matter).

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1989 -Turkey #13: Sorrel "Sweet Pea" Marks - Say no more, a regulator from the infamous Regional Water Quality Control Board!

1990 -Turkey #14: Harold "Mr. Bear" Reyes (aka "Chubby Bear") - - most noted for insisting that a corrosion inhibitor could restore metal surfaces by actually chemically reacting to create new metal. He was soon offered a sales position with the corrosion inhibitor vendor (they were impressed!). He also holds the title of the "Section Flirt", being caught numerous times, on camera (and off), in the act of sweet-talking babes. A connoisseur of fermented beverages and the owner of 402 hats, du-wraps, chapeaus and berets.

1991 -Turkey #15: Dale "Dumplin'" Ducharme (aka "the Turkey Trasher") - nobody remembers why he was nominated for this award (other than knowing Dale's demeanor), BUT when he got it, he "strapped" his LIVE TURKEY to the roof of his van and drove 70 mph from Goleta to his home in Lompoc... the Turkey, to say the least, was completely bald on arrival and met his ultimate demise soon thereafter. Dale is known to ski down sludge compost hills and was caught eating a "bioburger" processed at his own treatment plant in Lompoc....

1992 - Turkey #16: Linda "Lucky Paychecks" Leary Eh-hemmmmm, gambling at work, eh????

1993 -Turkey #17: Richard "Early Bird" Delgadillo (aka "Work Duty Delinquent Delagadillo")- so excited to go to another conference that he packed his bags, flew to the host City, and took a Taxi to the Conference Hotel. Upon checking in, he was informed that the Conference wasn't until NEXT week!!! Meantime, his boss is wondering where he is...

1994 -Turkey #18: Bob "Scoop Man" Niclaus (aka "the Condom Catcher") - he provided the KEYT TV News team with the background and intimate details of the condom-removal process at the El Estero Treatment Plant... He states on camera: "They bob up and down like little rubber duckies!" Gains national recognition with a print up in TV Guide.

Bob was called to that great Turkey pen in the Sky in 2008. We will miss you, Bob!

1995 -Turkey #19: Steve "Stressed Out" Strassburg (aka "the Whiffer") - says he was named Turkey because he can't say "no" to extra work even though he never gets to go home and has to work all night...but, he really got it for wondering what sulfur dioxide smells like while evacuating a sulfonator... Operators managed to resuscitate him, interrupting his near death experience!

Steve was called to his final rest in 2008. His work mentoring Section students and employees in operator and specialty vocation certification math was greatly appreciated and he will be missed by his flockmates.

1996 - Turkey #20: Brett "Over-Stuffed" Offerman (aka "The Professional" and "The Schmoozer") - he can go to a conference with no money and live like a King for a week; but more amazingly, he comes back with more loot than he started with! Generally can be found hocking Hospitality Suite food platters and hotel ash trays at the local Swap Meet.

1997 - Turkey # 21: Mark "Nut Bread" Norris (aka "The Mushroom Man") - keeps them all in the dark by shoveling a line of sludge BIOSOLIDS and hiding the light standard where the sun don't shine.

1998 - Turkey #22: Jim "Broken Bones" Buell (aka "The Aching Athlete") - prides himself on his athletic pursuits, but his lack of coordination and/or concentration dooms him to disastrous bodily mutilations (even the ABC Wide World of Sports "agony of defeat" athlete can't compete with Jim's expert crashes, falls, trips, ligament rips, rib fractures, contusions, etc.)... He blames injuries on wild animals and land mines.

1999 - Turkey #23: Anne "MUFON" Schubert (aka "The Lazy Space Cadet") snoozes on the job dreaming of space aliens warring with the government to break national and world conspiracies. Noted for setting the newest fashion trend, the "paperclip stuck in the forehead" , she also is known for scheming to take extra vacations on disability leave: however, the scheme backfired when the total days of disability leave were zero, offset by weekends, holidays and normal flex days.

2000 - Turkey #24: Carrie "the Blonde" Mattingly (aka "Carrie the Conehead")- As Safety Officer, Carrie demonstrates how NOT to put out a fire, when she squirts the entire contents of her fire extinguisher on her shoes . She also runs through screen doors to tell her co-workers "Safety First!". As our Section President in 2000, Carrie sent the Board members notices of meetings, but never sent the attached agenda, directions, place, time or date, and sometimes she didn't even write a message!!! Carrie showed enthusiasm when she wanted to re-write the By-laws for the Section, but when taken to a vote, it was learned that the change she wanted to make was already IN the Bylaws!

2001- Turkey #25: Barbara "Is Anybody Home?" Santos (aka "Sleepless Slop Slinger") caters deluxe full course meals to the Simi Valley operators when stricken by insomnia. Little does she know they drop caffeine tablets in her morning decaf coffee to ensure she spends another restless night cooking up a storm. Probably due to this insomnia, our Turkey #25 often fails to catch the gist of conversations, providing responses that in no way relate to the current topic.

2002 Turkey #26: Larry "The Legend" Whitney (aka the "Postmortem Pony Expressman") Larry showed his Turkey feathers when he reported a dead small horse in the Arroyo Simi to the Animal Control Office... he reported details of the horrendous dead animal odor and the animal's imminent explosion due to being over-bloated from the sun. He became so disgusted with the County's inability to locate the dead animal that he involved several other County agencies and half of Simi Valley's employees in the search to re-locate the animal's putrefying body. It is finally located after several hours, when it is discovered that the small horse is, in fact, a stuffed toy pony.

2003 Turkey #27: Jim "Awful Knawful" Mc Manus (aka "Not so Pretty Boy Anymore") Feats fit for a Turkey include absenteeism from work attributed to various unknown diseases, disorders and injuries... injuries appear real, but they are self inflicted to give him an excuse to go to the beach.

2004 Turkey #28: Robert "AWOL" Hidalgo yeah, he was absent so often at his President's duties in 2003, that he's now serving an extra long sentence as Section President. But even after three years, he has not been able to put in the time normal time of a one year term.... maybe next year Robert!

2005 Turkey #29: Ronald "Fuzbol Master" Sheets He invents a SUPER FUZBOL game using treatment plant parts! Don't forget his 'masterpiece' on the 33 Highway that kept everyone in the Ojai Valley with no access to get to work for two months while he concocted a "fix" for his sewerline!

2006 Turkey #30: Louis "The Irishman" Chiourn (pictures still getting developed---) Okay, this has gone on for a year...Who has the pictures???? Louis destroyed the evidence!

2007 Turkey #31: Ernee "The Cable Guy" Stocker (aka Foghorn Gaffaw) easily the loudest and most rambunctious at the Past Presidents Camp fireside, he caused the local Rangers to make hourly raids. Finally, the Rangers gave up and called in the Sheriffs--- who get taken in by Ernee's vivacious stories and join the campfire instead of rousting the turkey out of the park! The Sheriffs had the time of their lives and barely made it back to their Station by dawn. Ernee on the other hand, was telling such ribald stories that even he could not stop laughing for the whole next day. Neighboring campers were not so amused.

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2008 Turkey #32: Bradshaw "Smoldering Butts" Pruitt (aka Ironclad Pump Stumped) started two fires at work due to smoldering cigarette butts, after being written up for safety violations, he had to change to chewin' tabacky. Bradshaw also trained his dog to leave land mines all over the plant in an attempt to curb vandalism that was running rampant out in the boonies. He was discovered hiding his too-tight work pants in a locker when he failed to maintain his exercise program, but was too vain to order the next size up. And last but not least- he did not recognize that the 'Ironclad Pumps" located at the Ojai Valley Sanitary District were actually LMI chemical pumps with an Ironlcad glove sticker affixed to the side, thus he ended up searching for the 'Ironclad Pump' O&M manuals for weeks before someone clued him in.

ANSWER TO PRESIDENT OBABMA'S PRESIDENTIAL QUESTION FROM THE CALENDAR ON PRESIDENT'S DAY 2010 (SEE CALENDAR PAGE):

President Grover Cleveland is missing from the pack. He served two non-consecutive terms, and is generally counted twice (22nd and 24th Presidential terms). Other presidents that served two terms were served consecutively, so they are only counted once! That is why President Obama is considered the 44th President.

1977 - KEN BONAWITZ	1993- RICHARD DELGADILLO	2009- RESERVED
1978 - DAN RAYBURN	1994 - BOB NICLAUS	2010- RESERVED
1979 - FRED SALINAS	1995 - STEVE STRAUSBURG	2011- RESERVED
1980 - KELLY POLK	1996 - BRETT OFFERMAN	2012- RESERVED
1981 - JACK DUDLEY	1997 - MARK NORRIS	2013- RESERVED
1982 - RON SHERER	1998 - JIM BUELL	2014- RESERVED
1983 - BEN MIDDLETON	1999- ANNE SCHUBERT (REYES)	2015- RESERVED
1984 - VICTOR ACOSTA	2000 - CARRIE MATTINGLY	2016- RESERVED
1985 - JOHN CURPHEY	2001- BARBARA SANTOS	2017- RESERVED
1986 - JOHNNY TARVER	2002 - LARRY WHITNEY	2018- RESERVED
1987 - ART CUSTER	2003 - JIM MC MANUS	2019- RESERVED
1988 - JEFF SALT	2004 - ROBERT HIDALGO	2020- RESERVED
1989 - SORREL DAVIS	2005 - RONALD SHEETS	2021- RESERVED
1990 - HAROLD REYES	2006 - LOUIS CHIOURN	2022- RESERVED
1991 - DALE DUCHARME	2007 - ERNEE STOCKER	2023- RESERVED
1992 - LINDA LEARY	2008 - BRADSHAW PRUITT	2024- RESERVED

TURKEY TURKEY COMMITTEE

Last Updated 5/6/2009

Your Reigning Turkey:

BRADSHAW 'Smolderin Butts' PRUITT From Ojai Valley Sanitary District

INDEX

TURKEYS, TURKEYS AND MORE TURKEYS! THE TRI-COUNTIES SECTION HAS A WHOLE FLOCK!

To find your favorite Turkey, click on the appropriate year and name and go to his or her section!

1978 - Turkey #2: Dan "Drumstick" Rayburn (aka "the Flaming Furnace") - conducts start-up on new plant equipment (like furnaces, boilers, aeration pumps, etc.) lacking sufficient knowledge of manufacturer's instructions, costing agency millions!

1979 - Turkey #3: Fred "Sweet Tater" Salinas - the deeds of this Turkey are so shocking nobody will disclose them! (he angrily stormed away when I tried to interview him about this)

1980 - Turkey #4: Kelly "Punkin' Pie" Polk - (aka " the Alibi Guy") - lies so well that he convinced the Tri-Counties Section then-President that he had turned in the priority Budget Report already (when it was actually lost in his garage!)

1981 - Turkey #5: Jack "Giblet" Dudley (aka "the Lone Rooftop Dancer") - demonstrates excellent skills at shimmying up drain spouts at conventions, but has no skills to shimmy back down and is doomed to spend the night on the conference hotel roof - rescue by 911 required.

1983 - Turkey #7: Ben "Mincemeat" Middleton (aka "the Ladies' Man") - has so many girlfriends on City time that it takes his staff full time efforts to hide them from each other and the Public Works Director (he got his punishment when they all found out why he got this award!).

1986 - Turkey #10: Johnny "Carver" Tarver (aka "Something Fishy is Goin' On Here") - Superintendent at the Montecito WWTP, he convinced the RWQCB that his plant's effluent is so clean he keeps prize Koi in the final clarifiers!

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1987 - Turkey #11: Art "Indian" Custer